I said no.
Not because I was too busy. Not because the money wasn’t good. Not because I didn’t like the work.
I said no because something about the conversation felt wrong.
The potential client was offering me €50,000 for a three-month project.
“But Jan,” my business partner said after I hung up, “that’s more than we made last quarter. Are you insane?”
Maybe I was.
But three weeks later, that same client called back.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” he started. “About not being the right fit. I think you’re exactly what we need.”
This time, he offered €75,000.
The Call That Changed Everything
The call that taught me everything about rejection sales happened in early 2023.
A tech startup wanted help with their marketing strategy. Big budget, interesting challenge, timeline that worked.
But fifteen minutes into the discovery call, red flags started popping up.
“We want to move fast,” the founder said. “No time for research or testing. We know what works.”
“What’s worked for you before?” I asked.
“We haven’t tried anything yet. But we’ve seen what our competitors do.”
I felt my stomach drop.
They wanted to pay me €50,000 to copy their competition.
“I don’t think I’m the right fit for this project,” I said.
Silence.
“What do you mean?” the founder asked. “We have budget. We have timeline. What’s the problem?”
“The problem is you don’t need what I do. You need someone who executes without asking questions. That’s not me.”
The Unexpected Response
I expected him to thank me politely and hang up.
Instead, he got curious.
“What would you do differently?”
“I’d spend the first month understanding your customers instead of copying your competitors. I’d test small before scaling big. I’d probably recommend strategies you’ve never seen before.”
“That sounds exactly like what we need. Why don’t you think you’re right for us?”
“Because,” I said honestly, “you hired me to move fast and copy what works. What I just described takes time and might not work at all.”
The founder was quiet for a long moment.
“You’re the first consultant who’s told us we might be wrong. Everyone else just said yes to everything.”
The Psychology Behind It
That conversation taught me something profound about human psychology:
People want what rejects them.
When everyone else says yes, saying no creates instant differentiation.
When everyone else promises the moon, admitting limitations creates trust.
When everyone else competes on availability, competing on selectivity creates perceived value.
But here’s the key: The rejection has to be authentic.
You can’t fake selectivity. You can’t manufacture standards you don’t actually have.
The reason strategic rejection works is because it reveals your actual values—and clients want to work with people who have values.
The Three-Week Follow-Up
Three weeks after I rejected the €50,000 project, the founder called back.
“I’ve been thinking about our conversation,” he said. “We talked to five other consultants. They all said yes to everything. They all promised guaranteed results. None of them asked the questions you asked.”
“What questions?”
“Whether our approach was right in the first place.”
He paused.
“I think we need someone who will challenge us, not just execute for us. Are you still available?”
This time, the project was €75,000. And I said yes.
The Framework you can use
Since then, I’ve used strategic rejection to increase my project values by an average of 40% and my close rates by 60%.
Here’s the exact framework:
Step 1: Identify the Red Flags
Before every sales call, write down your non-negotiables: - Project types you won’t take - Client behaviors you won’t tolerate
- Timeline constraints you won’t accept - Budget minimums you won’t go below
Step 2: The Honest Assessment
During the call, actually listen for misalignment.
Most consultants are so focused on closing that they ignore obvious red flags.
When you spot a red flag, say: “I’m not sure I’m the right fit for this project.”
Step 3: The Explanation
Don’t just reject—explain why.
This accomplishes two things: - Shows you have standards (creates respect) - Educates them on what good looks like (creates value)
“I don’t think I’m right for this because you need X, and I specialize in Y.”
Step 4: The Alternative
Always offer an alternative that better serves their actual needs: - Refer them to someone who is a better fit - Suggest a different approach they might consider - Recommend they solve a different problem first
Step 5: The Door Left Open
End with: “If your situation changes and you decide you want [what you actually offer], feel free to reach out.”
The Results That Shocked Me
Over the next year, I rejected 40% of potential projects using this framework.
The results: - Average project value increased 40% - Close rate on projects I pursued increased 60% - Client satisfaction scores hit all-time highs - Referral rate doubled
But the most shocking result?
30% of rejected prospects came back within three months with better projects and bigger budgets.
Why This Works
Strategic rejection works because it triggers three powerful psychological responses:
1. Scarcity Bias When something is harder to get, we perceive it as more valuable. By rejecting some projects, you position yourself as selective, not desperate.
2. Authority Transfer When you reject someone’s project, you’re implicitly claiming to know better than they do. This positions you as the expert, not the vendor.
3. Cognitive Dissonance When someone expects you to say yes and you say no, it creates mental tension. They need to resolve this tension by either dismissing you or elevating their perception of you.
Most choose elevation.
The Implementation Challenge
The hardest part of strategic rejection isn’t the psychology—it’s the courage.
When you’re looking at a €50,000 project and your bank account is looking back at you, saying no feels insane.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Every wrong-fit client you accept makes it harder to attract right-fit clients.
You become known for the work you do, not the work you want to do.
You build a reputation for saying yes to everything, not for having standards.
You attract price-sensitive clients who see you as a commodity, not value-driven clients who see you as a partner.
The Choice That Defines Your Business
You can keep saying yes to every project that comes your way and compete on availability.
Or you can develop the courage to say no to projects that don’t align with your values and compete on selectivity.
The market rewards scarcity, not abundance.
Your ideal clients aren’t looking for the consultant who’s always available.
They’re looking for the consultant who’s selective enough to be worth the wait.
The question isn’t whether you can afford to say no.
The question is: Can you afford to keep saying yes?
Jan
PS: My last No? Only two days ago. And it made me stronger again. Will this Client come back? I think so. Anything you struggle with? Would love to write an E-Mail how I would solve your problem. Just answer to this E-Mail and tell me what it is.